Valerie Blassey • Graphic Design

Humor

 

 

    

How to Annoy Your Bathroom Stallmate

1. Stick your palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
2. Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."
3. Cheer and clap loudly everytime somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit!!! My glass eye."
6. Say, "Damn this water is cold."
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds then drop a cantelope into the toliet bowl from a high place and sigh.... 8 to 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
9. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt erraically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!!!"
11. Say, "Interesting...more sinkers than floaters."
12. Using a small squezze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toliet paper and drop it under the stall wall of your neighbors. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?"
13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me now."
14. Say, "Boy that sure looks like a maggot."
15. Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. now what am I gonna do?"
16. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
17. Before you unroll the toliet paper, conspicusly lay down your "Cross dressors Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!!"
19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free."