Famous Beer Quotes
You can't be a real country unless you have
a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football
team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a
beer.
—Frank Zappa
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk.
That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
—Ernest Hemmingway
Always remember that I have taken more out of
alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
—Winston Churchill
He was a wise man who invented beer.
—Plato
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all
the time.
—Catherine Zandonella
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even
have the decency to thank her.
—W.C. Fields
Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison
your drink.
—Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
—His reply
If God had intended us to drink beer, He would
have given us stomachs.
—David Daye
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
—Oscar Wilde
When I read about the evils of drinking, I
gave up reading.
—Henny Youngman
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us
to be happy.
—Benjamin Franklin
If you ever reach total enlightenment while
drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
—Deep Thought, Jack Handy
Without question, the greatest invention in
the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was
also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well
with pizza.
—Dave Barry
The problem with the world is that everyone
is a few drinks behind.
—Humphrey Bogart
Why is American beer served cold? So you can
tell it from urine.
—David Moulton
People who drink light "beer" don't like the
taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.
—Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer
the world.
—Kaiser Wilhelm
I would kill everyone in this room for a drop
of sweet beer.
—Homer Simpson
I gave up drinking once — it was the worst
afternoon of my entire life.
—Bogart
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals
such as hydrogen and oxygen,for example, there would be no way to
make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
—Dave Barry
I drink to make other people interesting.
—George Jean Nathan
They who drink beer will think beer.
—Washington Irving
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be
drunk to spend time with his fools.
—For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor
without holding on.
—Dean Martin
All right, brain, I don't like you and you
don't like me — so let's just do this and I'll get back to
killing you with beer.
—Homer Simpson
Winston Churchill: At a dinner party one evening
he had a bit too much to drink, annoying the woman sitting across
from him.
She said, "You, sir, are drunk."
He replied, "And you, madam, are ugly. But the difference is that
I shall be sober in the morning."
