Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook
By Marty Smith "Free Agent" March 1987 (a Portland Oregon alternative newspaper) Republished in the Utne Reader Nov./Dec. 1993
We have been lucky to discover several previously lost diaries of French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre stuck in between the cushions of our office sofa. These diaries reveal a young Sartre obsessed not with the void, but with food. Aparently Sartre, before discovering philosophy, had hoped to write "a cookbook that will put to rest all notions of flavor forever." The diaries are excerpted here for your perusal..
October
3
Spoke with Camus today about my cookbook. Though he has never actually
eaten, he gave me much encouragement. I rushed home immediately
to begin work. How excited I am! I have begun my formula for a Denver
omelet.
October 4
Still working on the omelet. There have been stumbling blocks. I
keep creating omelets one after another, like soldiers marching
into the sea, but each one seems empty, hollow, like stone. I want
to create an omelet that expresses the meaninglessness of e xistence,
and instead they taste like cheese. I look at them on the plate,
but they do not look back. Tried eating them with the lights off.
It did not help. Malraux suggested paprika.
October 6
I have realized that the traditional omelet form (eggs and cheese)
is bourgeois. Today I tried making one out of cigarette, some coffee,
and four tiny stones. I fed it to Malraux, who puked. I am encouraged,
but my journey is still long.
October 10
I find myself trying ever more radical interpretations of traditional
dishes, in an effort to somehow express the void I feel so acutely.
Today I tried this recipe:
Tuna Casserole Ingredients:
1 large casserole dish Place the casserole dish in a cold oven. Place a chair facing the oven and sit in it forever. Think about how hungry you are. When nightfalls, do not turn on the light.
While a void is expressed in this recipe, I am struck by its inapplicability to the bourgeois lifestyle. How can the eater recognize that the food denied him is a tuna casserole and not some other dish? I am becoming more and more frustated.
October 25
I have been forced to abandon the project of producing an entire
cookbook. Rather, I now seek a single recipe which will, by itself,
embody the plight of man in a world ruled by an unfeeling God, as
well asproviding the eater with at least one ingredient from each
of the four basic food groups. To this end, I purchased six hundred
pounds of foodstuffs from the corner grocery and locked myself in
the kitchen, refusing to admit anyone. After several weeks of work,
I produced a recipe calling for two eggs, half a cup of flour, four
tons of beef, and a leek. While this is a start, I am afraid I still
have much work ahead.
November 15
Today I made a Black Forest cake out of five pounds of cherries
and a live beaver, challenging the very definition of the word cake.
I was very pleased. Malraux said he admired it greatly, but could
not stay for dessert. Still, I feel that this may be my m ost profound
achievement yet, and have resolved to enter it in the Betty Crocker
Bake-Off.
November 30
Today was the day of the Bake-Off. Alas, things did not go as I
had hoped. During the judging, the beaver became agitated and bit
BettyCrocker on the wrist. The beaver's powerful jaws are capable
of felling blue spruce in less than ten minutes and proved, needless
to say, more than a match for the tender limbs of America's favorite
homemaker. I only got third place. Moreover, I am now the subject
of a rather nasty lawsuit.
December 1
I have been gaining twenty-five pounds a week for two months, and
I am now experiencing light tides. It is stupid to be so fat. My
pain and ultimate solitude are still as authentic as they were when
I was thin, but seem to impress girls far less. From now on, I will
live on cigarettes and black coffee.