314 Fall Quotes '94
"Jen, are you lactating?" —Valerie questioning the two wet spots on Jen's blouse
"I love you housemate" —a drunk Charles to Valerie at Colgate.
"314, FUCK THE REST OF YOU. 314, FUCK THE REST OF YOU" —chant, devised by Charles at Colgate.
"There I was, there I was, there I was, IN THE CONGO."
"All men are assholes... some of them are scum."—Ken revealing the true nature of man.
Skeet-ski-jumping — 314's suggestion for a Bud Light comercial. ("Okay ready?...PULL..." BANG!)
"Run little man!"—Tracy inspiring the Penn Football team.
2
Lili: Let's hook up this weekend.
Tracy: Why do you want to hook up with these losers?
Lili: I'm not a loser.
"There was only one floating in there when I looked."—Valerie, after someone ate her pickles (again) during the Homecoming party.
"What time is it?"—Refering to the fact that the clock in the living room was also stolen along with the danger mines sign Denise's refrigerator magnet and one of Melissa's boggle letters during the party. (The boggle letter was recovere d).
"Half past Oprah." —Some one answering the previous question.
"You are summoned by the King of all handbag and shoe repair..."
"Has anyone seen the remote?"—After 2 remotes were sucked into the vortex of the living room.
"I've cabled it to the couch." —Charles refering to the fact that the third remote was now attached to a 6 foot steel cable which was padlocked to the couch.
"This house is antifreeze. Like when a dog keeps drinking antifreeze...He knows it will kill him but he keeps drinking it anyway."—Charles philosophising about 314.
"Well, he'd better be Bob, because here come those bowling balls!"
"You were great last night"—Pres. Clinton to VP Gore after the NAFTA debate with Ross Perot.
"The ghosts are coming!"—Perot during the NAFTA debate.
"The British are coming!" —Perot during the NAFTA debate.
"This is more fucked up than you can imagine." —Melissa attempting to decipher Penn Course Review sheets.
"The whites are all the same color."—Ken while playing Pennopoly.
"My whites have never been whiter!"—Ken standing in the bathtub doing his laundry by foot.
"It turns out you CAN beat a great pair of Legg's" —Ken ad nauseum after the Nancy Kerrigan incident.
"INDUSTRY. Saving a Gender!"—Charles at his best.
"Í GOOOOOOOOOOL ! " —Andrés Cantor during the World Cup, when Channel 76 would have gotten a high Nielsen rating in this house.
"TURNPIKE MAN — the other white meat — it's what's for dinner — tastes like chicken."
"Hey tough guy..."
"It's the hardest carding bar in all of Boston, man." — Ken ad nauseum on the Harvard roadtrip about the Bow & Arrow.
"Cheeevy this my friend Leeeenda."— Doritos comericial.
"Rosenbaum is Evil." —irate reader of Jennie's column in his Letter to the Editor.
"I'm just a WYSI-WYG kind of girl." —Jennie.
"I've been tampered with! I've been tampered with...."—annoying car alarm on the back lot.
"Hey Val, sorry to wake you, but do you have any oregano?" —Sara with particularly bad timing one Saturday afternoon.
Erin:"You know, my legs hurt today."
Martha:"Really? That's funny, mine do too."
Erin:"I really can't remember what strenuous activity we must
have put them through last night."
Martha: [nods head] "Yeah. What the hell were we doing with
our legs?!"
— Erin and Martha at the softball game on Saturday afternoon
after the Friday night installment of SummerFest.
Official CyberFest I Quote List:
Ohh, your father is dead, and your mother is sick, and your brother is dead, and your brother is dead, and your brother is dead, and your kid has one leg, and your wife is a drunk, and your car doesn't float."— The Ted Kennedy Drinking Song s ung ad nauseum by the UVA band.
"You Suck! You All Suck!"— title of the CUMB newsletter.
"You play soccer for the U.S., right?"—Melissachop, upon meeting UVa Pep Band's Wahoo Delerious.
"This is where we come to lose a lot."—Trashy & John (also a CUMBer), outside the Palaestra.
"Well, if I'd had my tools, I would have at least taken the door."— Trashy, on their consideration of a Penn AD van as a suitable souvenier.
"Holy shit — we're blue."—Yale's Andrew "Haggard" Ryder & Michael of UVA, after ill—advised consumption of raspberry slushies at Jersey shore (paraphrased).
"'SWEEP, ASSHOLE!' the Penn Band women, to me, alot, when I made the serious error of playing drinking games against them"—Michael of UVA.
End of CyberFest I Quote List.
"Don't go in there Dick, he's got a knife!" — Daffy Duck, and Martha on occasion
"Geezers suck eggs!" — written on the refrigerator during Geezerbowl.
John Afsal Kuner highly recommends Gobble Stixü!! Boing!! Boing!!
"Ed called!" — Wait! No one
ever said that!.
"Hey. I wrote it, ... once" —Valerie.
MelonFest: August 14th 1994—Official Turkmenistan holiday to celebrate the melon., important to the culture of the Turkmanistan people.
"Where's Melissa, ... oh its Twenesday"—refering to the fact that the Summer Pennsylvanian Editorial Board does not sleep before the Wednesday deadline.
TRENTON MAKES!!! THE WORLD TAKES!!!
"When you buy skim milk in a carton, it
usually is skim milk" —Pat's stroll through the completely
obvious.
*Questions? Comments? Call 387-1915, ask for Tracy.