Valerie Blassey • Graphic Design

Humor

 

 

    

You Know You've Been In Philadelphia Too Long When You:

1. Realize your favorite dessert is water ice.
2. Find yourself using "Yo" and "Youse guys" when talking long distance to family members.
3. You know how to spell Schuylkill.
4. Think $2,500 for insurance on a '79 Toyota is a bargain.
5. Find yourself at a nice restaurant thinking "This would only be three bucks at a truck."
6. Can sleep soundly through gunshots in the neighborhood.
7. Visit New York and notice how clean it is.
8. Believe that the car on your side, flashing its turn signal, wants you to close the gap to the car in front.
9. Can't eat fries without Cheeze Whiz.
10. Don't think WaWa sounds funny.
11. Find street people greet you by first name.
12. Find street people completely ignore you.
13. Think crime isn't so bad in Philly because none of your friends has been mugged recently.
14. You pass up fresh Norwegian salmon for a cheesesteak from Pats.
15. Think having your car broken into is just part of the cost of city living.
16. Took a vacation at the shore (and liked it).
17. Avoid strangers on the street trying to ask you a question.
18. Check vehicle theft statistics for input to your car purchase decision.
19. Think 47th and Baltimore isn't all that bad.
20. Think the park along the Schuylkill River is beautiful.
21. Think Ben Franklin statues are a nice addition to the city.
22. Avoid carrying too much cash on you in case you are mugged.
23. Like to have at least a few bucks on you in case you are mugged.
24. Really like your new apartment because the roaches are smaller and it actually gets a little light.
25. Get up early on a Saturday to get the best produce at the Italian market.
26. Arrange for the repair man to come at 10 AM and are surprised to see him arrive already at 2PM.
27. Wear a muscle shirt and gold chains in Center City.
28. Hear about a great steak barbeque from a friend in Texas and you wonder how he kept the little pieces of meat from falling into the coals.
29. Looked at houses on the Main Line.
30. Bought a house on the Main Line (you're a lost cause).
31. Treat red lights as a stop sign.
32. Think Dock Street is a good bar.
33. Find Amish clothing attractive.
34. Are willing to drive a half an hour for a good pretzel.